The Budget

I am taking the approach to budgeting that Miss Boa Constrictor is taking. Zero budget and then finding the cheapest option for each thing I want and making that the budget. Honestly this has been working great for me. I basically stole my dress (for the record, I didn't, but I did only pay 11% the original price), I'm making a ton of stuff (i.e. table runners).

Another way I have found to save money:  buying the table linens from smartyhadaparty.com instead of renting them. The tableclothes will cost $12.50 whether I rent them or  purchase them. BUT, I can sell them afterward, even if I get only 100 for all 12 after it's all over ($8 a piece), I still only spend $4 per tablecloth.

I have expensive floral tastes, but I'm hoping my obsessive internet research will pay off  in the long run. I love the look of peonies. I am so in love with peonies but they are expensive and unfortunatly, they don't bloom during my chosen date (August 4th). I am going instead to uses garden roses which have a similar look to peonies. I am also going to use carnations, no not red white and blue stupid fake walmart carnations, but ruffly, blush carnations. They can look good when mixed in. At farmers market last summer, my Future Mother in Law, bought me a bouquet from one of the stands (she is just a nice lady like that). The stand was called Bee Haven Farms. They had so many gorgeous flowers, and they also do weddings. They do have the option to do your whole wedding but they also have a cool a la carte option. They will do the hard stuff, making the bouquets and boutonnieres, but then they will sell me flowers in my colors by the bucket for my centerpieces. Which will be perfect, since I am doing long tables (one table is 4 8' tables stuck end to end) I am doing long centerpieces of different vintage bottles and bud vases strewn down burlap table runners.

Other DIY things will be the seating chart and menus done on old window panes. This will be fairly easy and since I have been doing calligraphy for years, it should turn out fairly well.

On the subject of centerpieces, my biggest obstacle has been the jars in which to hold my flowers and candles. I love the look of real vintage ball jars, but at $8.50-10 a piece at antique stores, they are way out of my price range (remember I need 12-17 jars each table, and I have 10 tables). I did find a whole basket of 20 little medicine jars for $30, which I will be buying. For the past few months, I've been saving any glass jars we use. Olives, olive oil, mustard, capers, vermouth, etc., you name it, I peel the label off and save it (as you can see, I am a dirty martini fan). I have amassed quite a collection.

My biggest bottle collection, however comes from doing something I do all the time anyway: Drinking Starbucks. Instead of stopping by on my way to work every morning, I buy a pack of the 4 frappachinos from the grocery store, drink one down every morning, wash them, peel the label off and store them away. I have about 40 of the short ones and 20 of the tall ones. They are actually going to be perfect for the look I am going for.

The moral of this story is, you don't nesscarily need to have a budget set in stone, as long as you  have a ballpark. I'm shooting for $2,000 and may actually beat my budget, but doing extensive price comparing.

Anyone else have any super secret saving tips?

photos credit theknot.com, starbucks.com

The Engagement Session

It's nice to get some time to blog this weekend. Usually I do my blogging during the week.

FH and I had our engagment shoot yesterday. It was so much fun! Now that I am on the other side, I have a few tips for your engagement session. More pictures to come but these are the ones she has given me so far.

Some tips for the engagment shoot:
1. Be aware that you will be uncomfortable for the first half hour. Be sure to let your photographer know if there is anything that is off limits. (kissing on camera, etc.) The best thing to do is to just go for it, you will loosen up after you go through some different poses and try different things.





2. Work with a good photographer! Tanyia was so fun to work with because of how energetic she was. As she put it, she's the lady who yells "BANANA" and makes animal noises to get her babies to laugh during pictures. A good photographer is going to make you feel at ease and capture those little shots of awkwardness and make them beautiful.

3. Wear comfortable weather-appropriate clothes. After having nightmares and spending a good 3 hours trying on different outfits, I settled on jeans, t-shirt and a red sweater. FH wore a button down, Navy sweater and jeans. We were both comfy. Warm however, we were not. It was about 36 degrees during our shoot and we were laying on the ground for some shots. I didn't wear long johns because I think they make me look fat, but in hind sight, I probably should have worn them.

4. Pick a good place to shoot and then go for it. Ask  your photographer where they would like to shoot. Tanyia picked out our spot and we ended up really loving it. The ranch dog, Buster, even made it into our pictures. Isn't he cute! There were the obvious places to shoot, the porches of the lodge and cabins, but then there were the unexpected spots, a winding road through trees, a vintage tractor, a clearing in the forest.

5. Work with a good photographer! I say this again for a different reason. Tanyia was very excited for our shoot. It wasn't just work for her. She couldn't wait to go home and edit the photos. I was emailing her like mad for 2 weeks before the shoot giving examples of engagement shots I loved from online wedding blogs. She emailed me back with things she loved. We have a great working relationship. Find a photographer that you like as a person, not just like their shots. It will matter in the photos!

6. Have fun. This should go without saying but even though your fiance may be less than enthused about going and getting his picture taken, remind him that it can be fun. These pictures are ones that you will show your kids and look at for years to come. Many couples complain that they wished they had more photos from their engagement.

Photography by Tanyia Oulman, tanyiaoulmanphotography.com

Groomology

I bought the book Groomology by Michael Essany, from Barnes and Noble after reading a few excerpts on Amazon.com. I  bought it because the author was funny and I hoped that it would make FH become enthused about the wedding planning process. It's not that he is opposed to it, he just thinks that 7 months is too long to start planning (Ah! The little knot.com wedding planning timeline devil on my shoulder is dying!). The book is funny and concise. I read it all the day we got it in the mail. I strategically left it on the coffee table for FH to pick up but as they say, you can lead a horse to water...

Tomorrow, we are going to get engagement photos taken and I am surprised to see that FH is excited. He went to get a haircut today while I was working. He asked me what to wear, and he seems like he will be having fun. I am really hoping he enjoys being engaged as much as I do.

I've been slowly working on getting him more and more involved. There are definitely certain things he cares about, such as the menu (he is dead set on a whole roast pig) but I'm trying to help him see that it is fun to be involved. I've been doing this by only talking about the wedding when I am giving him a back rub. He always listens then, or having the kitchen spotless promptly after dinner for a week leading up to the engagement shoot. Of course, he knows it makes me happy so he usually "gets coordinated" as he calls it, without a fuss.

I'm wondering what other tactics might work. I was hoping he would read the Groomology book because it does include a lot of tips about enjoying the process, as well as treating your stressed out fiance (me).

Has anyone else read the Groomology book? Are there any special tricks that you've used to persuade a reluctant groom? How did they work?

Wedding Nightmares

The wedding is in 7 months as of yesterday and I have been having wedding nightmares for at least a month now. Most of them I'm in California by a pool in a city on a hot sunny day and it's the day of my wedding (definitely not me). I realize it's not where my wedding is supposed to be. My colors are wrong, all the outfits are wrong and I don't know any of the guests. Then I go to the closet to put on my dress and there are 15 dresses that all look kind of like my dress but have weird beading or are pink or are short and they are all wrong. I dig to the back of the closet but I still dont' find my dress in the sea of tulle and chiffon.

Last night my dream was about the Engagement session we have tomorrow. I spent the entire dream trying to figure out what to wear, nothing looked right and I was stressed out of my mind. I kept trying on ugly outfits and changing and wasnt' able to find the elusive item of clothing. Of course I still don't know what I'll wear tomorrow for the session. I will probably be modeling for my uncooperative FH (future husband) for a few hours tonight.

Yesterday, while perusing wedding blogs and generally obsessing about every detail of weddings (like usual), I saw a post about elopements and it showed a bride and groom sitting in a row boat looking happy as could be. Ah, elopement. That sounds so nice, easy, stylish and CHEAP. I'm so sick of looking at a favor or a centerpiece I would like then realizing I have to mulitply the cost by 70 and then getting disheartented. I had done so much planning for my wedding even before we got engaged that I thought it would be easy to just tie off the loose ends and then relax. I had already rented all the wedding related books from the library over four months ago. I've already read all the etiquette guides, subscribed to the magazines, found my "look". It should be easy now. Instead I find myself to be stressed even more because now that I am actually trying to recreat my vision, the budget isn't fitting. It sucks not having any money because I know I am going to have to wait until the 11th hour to buy wedding things. I'm just spinning my wheels now and driving myself crazy thinking about all the possibilities.

Because I was a wedding planner and have dealt with brides frequently, I sort of knew what I didn't want to be like. So for that my dear bridesmaids should thank me. I work very hard on not discussing the wedding everytime we talk. I try to know what is going on in their lives. My co-workers however, get the full brunt of my bridezilla-ness. I talk about it a lot at work. I rationalize it because people ask me about it all the time at work. I am trying to be a good bride but I am stressed. Of course, it's probably just getting to that time of the month, honestly.

 The biggest thing I am worried about is not being able to just hang out with FH on our wedding day. That's all I want to do. I want to wear my pretty dress and hang out with FH. I really don't care about anything else but I feel as though I should. I'm so scared that the day will fly by and I won't have gotten to enjoy it because I was so worried about getting this picture and that picture and saying hi to this long lost relative and rushing to the next even. I just want to have fun.

With this I am going to attempt to take the weekend off of wedding planning. This is a huge step. I would say month but I know I can't do it. Of course I sound commited now, but Say Yes to the Dress is all new on Friday...

Have you hit walls in  your wedding planning where  you feel like eloping? How did you overcome those? Anyone who is married, were you able to enjoy your wedding day and your husband? Any tips for doing so?
Also any funny wedding nightmares? My married friend said even her fiance (now hubby) had nightmares!

THE Dress

My favorite designer is and always has been Priscilla of Boston. There was a dress called Maeve that I have been lusting after for years. The dress has a sweetheart neckline, made of ivory silk taffeta, a ballgown sillouhette and a big bow on the hip. Part of me believed deep down in my heart that I could rationalize spending $2675 on a wedding dress.

Then in June or so of 2011, they announced that they were closing their doors on December 31st after 65 years of being in business. If you have time at some point, look up Priscilla Kidder, the mother of the company who started it herself when no bank would give a woman a loan. She was one tough cookie, and just another reason why I love this company.

I was so sad because FH (future husband) hadn't proposed yet and now I wouldn't get my chance to have my dream dress, as they had stopped production and were only selling samples. I am on the email list for Priscilla so each time the dresses got discounted I was given a notice. First 30% off, which didn't make much of a dent in the price. Then in October it was discounted 70% to $800. Still expensive but now within reach. It was a few days after FH had proposed so I gave the Denver salon a call. They had sold my Maeve two days before. I thought, "that's it, I've got to buy a dress online or worse at David's Bridal."

Then, the last week of November, I got another email. All dresses from $2000-$3999 were discounted to $299. Holy $#!# , I thought! This was my chance. If there was a sample Maeve still unpurchased in any salon in the country, I was going to buy her. I started with Atlanta (alphabetical order), and they told me they had it! Perfect condition, Ivory, Sample Size 10 Maeve. And they could ship it for only $50.

I was ready to buy it right then and there, as not to risk losing the dress (lucky for me the salon was only open another 13 minutes). But I took a night to think on it and talk with FH. My mom (who I had  been texting like mad about THE dress), said she would like to buy the dress for me. So the next morning on December 1st, I called the salon the minute they opened and bought the dress.

The dress arrived at my work a week later in a giant white box. All the ladies I worked with wanted to see the dress on, so I got to put on my beautiful gown. Since it's a sample size 10 (street size 4-6) and I'm a size 2 and not exactly tall, the dress is about 1 1/2 inches too big around the bust and about 4 inches too long. I have to get it altered but other than that, it is everything I had hoped for. A few little dirty marks here and there, nothing that will show in pictures or that can't be dry cleaned out.

So the moral of this story is: If it is meant to be, it will be. Don't settle for something that won't make you happy just because you think you have to make a decsision RIGHT NOW! Let things happen as they should because more than likely  you will be happy with the result. But on the flipside, don't second guess yourself either. If your dream dress (man, shoes, job opportunity, house) is within reach, don't say no worrying about something better coming along.

I got my dream dress and I couldn't be happier!


Any of you have any great dress stories where  you were able to get your dream dress almost magically? Any one worried about having to settle for a dress?

Fate - Our background story

I would absolutely be lying if I said I didn't believe in fate. I'm standing here on the edge of the rest of my life and I realize how everything in my entire world has been headed towards this point. I'll start from the beginning. My parents could have decided to stay in California, they could have picked another town in Idaho, they could have picked a totally different state, and things wouldn't have happened the way they have happened. But no, they picked here.

And in 2000 when FH went to boarding school, his parents, who lived in Colorado could have picked any boarding school in the country. But they picked the one just 30 minutes away from where I live. FH could have gotten into trouble and not been able to go on the Field trip to the bay, but he went, and knew that one day he would be back. His parents could've decided not to visit and just wait for FH to come home but they visited, and realized that this was a place that could be home. They could have picked a different place to build a house, there are a lot of great spots on the lake, but they chose the cabin one door down from N.R.'s family cabin.


I was never supposed to be with N.R., but I was supposed to meet him, have crush on him in high school, and then become friends with him. He could have been in a different Fraternity, and I in a different Sorority, but no we were in the houses that were next door to each other.

I could have worked at a differen't restaurant that summer. I possible woudln't have even worked that day, but I did. FH and his family could have come in a half hour later or chosen a different restaurant and we wouldn't have met but we did.

My friend N.R. could have stayed at his house in town that day, but instead he was out at the cabin, where FH told him about me. It was a few nights later that N.R. invited me out to his cabin to meet FH, I could've been busy, I couldve said no. But I said yes and I rushed out as soon as I was off work.

Upon meeting him, I fell completely into him. We were hooked and that was the end of it.

Now that I am planning our wedding, everything is coming together uncannily well. It is all being orchastrated perfectly.

I have my dream dress - Another post coming about my dress. And I couldn't have gotten it if my favorite designer wasn't going out of business at the end of the year. I found a photographer for under $500 because she wants to expand her portfolio.

Yes, I believe in Fate. Because my whole life has been planned with me in mind. Good things are to come. And this wedding is important, it's going to be the gunshot that starts everything else.

He Stole my Heart so I'm stealing his last name!

I am not the original author of that title, I stole if from a friend who is getting married to an awesome guy in September 2012.

We are getting married. He proposed on October 13th by slipping the ring on my finger while I was asleep. Tell me that isn't adorable (remember Time Travelers Wife).
We are still undecided on the date but it's going to be soon. We are undecided on the guest list because it seems like we can't trim it down to a necessary number.
I have been waiting to plan this for so long and now that I'm able to I'm totally freaking out. I hoped I would be a calm cool and collected bride but I have no idea where to start.


More to come soon. Including inspiration boards and such.

Ring is personal photo.